EMERGENCY PROTOCOLS ACTIVATED!

BEGIN EVACUATION IMMEDIATELY!

Raxxon Pharmaceuticals Has Everything Under Control

In a time of increasing crisis, Raxxon Pharmaceuticals is the steady hand ensuring the health and flourishing of civilization. Raxxon Pharmaceuticals has partnered with nations around the world to provide resources needed to confront recent threats. With the support of local volunteer teams, Raxxon ensures security and safety for all.

Updates from Raxxon

Security Level: orange
Posted July 14

As some cities descend into chaos, Raxxon Pharmaceuticals has been the one beacon of light showing the way to health and safety.

It is understandable, then, why many citizens, afraid for what lies ahead, have been clamoring for Raxxon to arrive in their area to aid in the effort.

Unfortunately, due to burdensome regulations from federal governments and the UN, a benevolent multi-national corporation like Raxxon is unable to deploy resources at an ideal pace. Red tape and bureacracy!

Those seeking Raxxon Evacuation Kits are advised, therefore, that those who already hold the kits hold the key to helping get a kit to you. If you have a chance to interact with someone who has indicated that their city is safer thanks to Raxxon, engage with them to intercede on your behalf! If they are unable to help you, move on to the next person you find!

Only with the cooperation of the people can Raxxon deploy our resources and keep the world a safe place.

Security Level: white
Posted July 13

As our global community deals with the current difficult situation, some whose role is to HELP this crisis are instead DEFAMING the name of our heroes, our knights in shining armor, the ones we should all be admiring - yes, that's right, celebrities.

In particular, those who have signed contracts for promoting Raxxon's Zomoxtrin should NOT be considered part of the problem. How else can Raxxon get the world out about safety when our most high-profile people are being slandered?

As an example, here is a recent excerpt of a report blaming members of the Zomoxtrin family:

It all came crashing down when the spokesperson I allowed to leave was seen PROMOTING the Raxxon cure!  Still in the city, and encouraging people to stay!  The irony is that the spokesperson was none other than Colby Dauch - the Founder of Plaid Hat Games - a company I had grown to admire.  The nerve of that guy - and to be honest, he didn't look so handsome as some have claimed - perhaps Raxxon has been giving him injections as compensation?

In order to provide complete transparency, we have lifted the security clearance on this report, and have made it open and available for all to view. It's clear to us that publishing these documents will make our innocence apparent.

Security Level: orange
Posted July 12

Raxxon is pleased to learn that a subsidized grant is being offered for a Raxxon Evacuation Kit, paid for by the Audio Broadcast for Fewer Participants Coalition.

For those concerned that the federal government is not moving fast enough to authorize Raxxon to deploy to your area, this grant could save thousands of lives.

Those wishing to apply for the grant should take a look at the process as listed on the Coalition's website.

In the meantime, it is recommended that those who are pre-authorized for evacuation protocols should deploy additional kits as soon as is convenient.

Go to top